Come one, we all have wondered it. Why do Libyan brides and grooms often look less prim right before the long-awaited day? Or, perhaps the let-loose look does not cross you as odd. You know the scruffy beard or un-tweezed eye brows were not forgotten hygienic routines, because looking unkept right before your wedding in Libya makes for a dramatic effect on the wedding day.

The idea of letting yourself go, or at least seeming to, is something common in Libya and is widely known as, teshyeena, which can literally be translated as, to make uglier. What does this mean?

A bride-to-be might dress up less, or not at all, at an occasion that precedes close enough to her own wedding. For some who resort to this ideology, it means remaining in the headscarf, or not wearing makeup. However, many people do not acknowledge or partake in what is known as the uglying tool. And yet, there are a significant number of people who do.

It might come to the surprise of some that some soon-to-be grooms also keep a five o?clock shadow, or resort to less hair gel in the days, and sometimes weeks, leading up to the wedding; even during ceremonies preceding the actual wedding night such as the Fatiha, or religious marriage contract signing.

One might wonder the point in delaying the final reveal until the actual wedding since the bride and groom definitely assume the centre of attention before then. But, in Libya it is all about the wedding day, or wedding entrance known as the zaffa.

The moment the bride walks his bride into the wedding hall often resembles a dramatic reveal. Guests? eyes remain on them at all times, drifting away only to comment to each other about how much the bride or groom changed, how good they look, and sometimes, stating which looks better; the bride or groom?

And, don't forget the groom's tadreeja, a musical parade that can often travel blocks before dropping the groom at his doorstep.

For some, the best compliment to be paid on their wedding day is, you transformed. Why would anyone want to look like anyone other than them-self on their wedding day? Because this compliment refers to the dramatic effect of your grand reveal, and whether or not your guests were pleased with the final result.

I was personally surprised the first time I saw a bride remain in her pyjamas in the days leading up to her wedding. I am familiar with the limitations placed on single girls set by society.

Things like wearing makeup, or tweezing eye brows are things Libyan single girls do, but would never have done in the past. And yet there are many who still respect old tradition.

So, the next time you see a soon-to-be newly-wed looking a bit tired, just remember it is all planned in the grand scheme of things.

To share with the Bifocal, contact the writer directly at: hbiuk@tripolipost.net