Dear Diary! Today could just about be the proudest day of my life! You will remember that I was interviewed by a series of journalists recently, talking about the new CRDP? Well, one of the magazines thought that, "the story was so strong and has such legs" that they decided to put it on the front cover! My mother will be so proud when she hears that my very strong legs have propelled me onto the front cover of "a globally-recognised Islamic finance publication with an impressive editorial board".
The magazine is the No. 1 most respected publication in the world, according to the publisher, and it is called Islamicus Financius Incubus. Idare not tell my mother that I had never heard of the magazine before because I am now "a rising star in the industry" and I should know these things! The front cover of the glossy magazine is a photo of me sitting casually on the telephone while perched at our Massive Mahogany Boardroom Table. I am holding the phone with one hand and I am showing off my Fancy Expensive Watch with the other (if you look closely at the watch you can still see bits of Orange Jelly Under the Green Glass on the watch - but that it a whole other story).
The best bit of the lot is how the interview makes me Sound So Clever. I don't even remember saying half of it! My favourite quote of mine is, "Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness.Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate". I mean, wow!?! I am beginning to think that perhaps I am wasted as Marketing Manager (Branding and Ancillary Services). I am beginning to think that I am destined for greater things and the CRDP might just be the first step on my way to the stars! I am formulating a plan that perhaps I should approach General Manager and ask herif she needs a Deputy General Manager? But I mustn't be too subtle about itsince (to quote myself again!), "fortune favours the brave!"
I had rather hoped that some members of staff would have come to congratulate me on the front cover profile but when Iasked in the post room they told me that no one in the bank receives the magazine. I telephoned almost 100 of my contacts in other Islamic banks around the region and they had never seen the magazine - apart from one chap who had picked up a copy at a conference when his CEO was on the cover and another who said he loved the cookery tips. Considering the magazine is the No. 1 most respected publication in the world and has a readership of over three million I found it strangely difficult to find a single reader: one of life's little puzzles.
On an unrelated matter my advertising campaign in Islamicus Financius Incubus starts with the next issue - and I have allocated over half my annual budget toit - so I certainly hope that I come across a few more readers! Wouldn't it be funny if my mother and I were the only readers the magazine had?
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© The Islamic Globe 2011
